Netee's Journals

This is my mind bitching at 4 am

Fuck I wish I could tell you who she is.
I wish you could see..
I always tell myself and everyone I'm over you
that I hate you and you're a sucker for missing me
when I'm really the one who missed you
I wish I had another chance.. I know I'd take it
Now I don't know where to go.
So many options and not one of them can make me forget you
you're just so perfect and no one can make me forget that
I hate even the parts I love, or the other way around, whatever
It's late, I wanna sleep without dreams, these nightmares wake me up
maybe I shouldn't do that ever again.
Maybe I shouldn't wake up.
Would you miss me? Say you'd miss me..
Say you regret every word you ever said to me.
Don't make me go first.. I keep saying my wish'll come true... maybe just a little late...?

I'm really not sure bout these. Also I need a title. Help..?

~ you think i've never felt a heartbeat but you're the one beating me up id never fall into oblivion before falling in & out of love but you say you'd rather fall than suffer and fall asleep before you wake I think I'd take my chances and stop the rythm in your chest so sleep, dream and when I wake you you'll be safe and sound and all the monsters gone I'll be gone before the neighbours come so you can hide inside their arms & live your shapeless dream again But you already know, theyâ�™ll paint the town with your blood So give them gallons, and gallons, all for our sake But what does â�˜usâ�™ mean these days? Weâ�™re only sympathetic accidents, like car crashes in space We were never meant to be, so you is barely a necessary concequence so sleep, dream and when I wake you you'll be safe and sound and all the monsters gone I'll be gone before the neighbours come so you can hide inside their arms & live your shapeless dream again

Again, please read&comment?

you think i've never felt a heartbeat but you're the one beating me up id never fall into oblivion before falling in & out of love but you say you'd rather fall than suffer and fall asleep before you wake I think I'd take my chances and stop the rythm in your chest so sleep, dream and when I wake you you'll be safe and sound and all the monsters gone I'll be gone before the neighbours come so you can hide inside their arms & live your shapeless dream again

Please READ and comment :)

Playing piano alone in the dark.
Writing bad lyrics about sad broken hearts.
Liar, cheater, joker, thief
Words that spell out past mischief
Itâ�™s my fault, your fault, weâ�™re all so sorry
Words that hide forgotten glory.
So I guess weâ�™re yellow black and blue
Paint us all a different hue
Smile pulitely, walk on through
Shoulds and shouldnâ�™ts donâ�™ts and doâ�™s.
Make a list of everything
Every love and every fling
Send me in a million years
Just to see if I still care.

I could have been her, I could be yours.
Buried in my own mistakes Iâ�™m turning into Julietâ�™s speeding bullet
Iâ�™m a first-class hypocrite
Youâ�™re a first-class lying bitch.

Boo fucking hoo.

You'll rebel to anything (as long as it's not challenging) -Mindless Self Indulgence You don't mean it You need a uniform So you won't be ignored You are affected And so you're accepted It's time you invested in a bottle of poison So we don't have to hear about you bitchin and moanin You think you could afford a fuckin bottle of asprin Boo fuckin hoo you're not the only one whose live's a piece of shit And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit You don't mean it You need a uniform So you won't be ignored You are affected And so you're accepted It's time you invested in a bottle of poison So we don't have to hear about you bitchin and moanin You think you could afford a fuckin bottle of asprin You think you're saying something relevant as you connect the dots You never realized you have to get in line to suck a cock You're telling me that fifty million screaming fans are never wrong I'm telling you that fifty million screaming fans are fucking morons You don't mean it

My life as a soap opera star

The widescreen camera has stretched my mind. We are all machines running on heartbeats- you think you see. Or are you too blind just to notice you donâ�™t? Tell me if you like it. Tell me if I do it right. Tell me do you care Because I think Iâ�™m losing touch Iâ�™m letting go But Iâ�™m still trying to hold on. I donâ�™t get it. I didnâ�™t even apply for this position- but why didnâ�™t I get it? The script is badly written And Iâ�™m highly underpaid. Take a look at what Iâ�™ve done! Iâ�™ve put your name out there. Give me credit, give me love, give me everything you told me to want. Give me a last look at your eyes.

Song text. Tell me your opinion?? --nothing left

~
I hope your golden mirror shows
Thereâ�™s nothing left to say.
I wish that youâ�™d wake up-wake up
and see the damage you have done.

The hearts
Of the people you claim to love
Mean nothing much to you-
The hearts
Of people you said you care about
Are there for you to break.

I tried, not to let your words get to me
I tried, oh god i tried, not to care.
I tried to never say a word to you
About you
Because thereâ�™s nothing left to say.

How worthless youâ�™ve been.. how you made me cry
Your eyes say 'i hate you'
When your lips still say 'i care'
The promises you couldnt keep
The lies you shouldnt tell

I hope your golden mirror shows
That now thereâ�™s nothing left to say.
~
Juliet's Speeding Bullet.~ _PaTcHWorK_x

..Break me down..

...I'm sick of people lying and backstabbing. I'm sick of people breaking my heart. I'm sick of people breaking the hearts of people I care about. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of falling in love- I'm sick of being disappointed over and over again. I'm sick of regret and missed chances. I'm sick of these memories. I'm sick of going weak every time I look at you. I'm sick of the jab my heart takes when I do. I'm sick of walking home alone.

Mad World..

*~all around me are familiar faces, worn out places bright and early for their daily races, going nowhere their tears are filling up their glasses, no expression Hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow... I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had I found it hard to tell you cause i find it hard to take when people run in circles it's a very very mad world... Children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday Gonna feel the way that every child should 'sit & listen, sit & listen' Went to school and i was very nervous No one knew me Hello, teacher, tell me, what's my lesson? Look right through me, look right through me.. I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had I found it hard to tell you cause i find it hard to take when people run in circles it's a very very mad world...~*

:)

Painkillers donâ�™t work for storms And when i go to sleep itâ�™ll still be raining, but when i close my eyes and think of things i guess iâ�™m in control. I have flowers in my room, they draw attention from whoâ�™s sitting on the couch, into the dreamworld i live in and can never get out. I can capture moments in my head and just repeat, rewrite until i get the image that will comfort me and forget that the windâ�™s still blowing, outside, pulling down trees, houses, lives and friendships Of which iâ�™m still, just for now, a part. Music is the time and energy, and light of my self-created universe, Of which i canâ�™t gain control but when i press â�˜pauseâ�™ and listen, Maybe i can hear myself.